Systems & Software Talk 

Introducing Testalis

Do you suffer from Testile Dysfunction? Are you no longer invited to Requirements or Design Review meetings because you ask important questions – questions where the responses are typically, “No customer will ever do that?” – Or – “Please confine yourself to testing and let us handle the design”? Are you depressed because every software build exposes R&D test neglect? These issues can lead to a serious condition known as Testile Dysfunction (TD), a condition in which you lose your enthusiasm for testing and all related test engineering activities. TD reduces your level of readiness when you are ultimately called upon to execute tests.

Could you be ready for that moment when that moment is right? When R&D hurls the next application build over the wall-of-distrust and all the developers run for shelter – could you be ready?

Testalis® might be right for you.

Testalis® can restore your enthusiasm for your role. Only you can decide if Testalis® is right for you. Before taking Testalis®, ask your test engineering lead if you should proceed with functional and regression test activity and be sure to tell your test engineering lead about any angst you may have with R&D and all soured relationships with R&D. Don't take Testalis® if you take Tiagra® as the combination can cause a sudden, rapid rise in defect-discovery output and clog your organization’s defect-handling process.

Testalis® for daily use remains in your body for as long as you take it. Tell your test engineering lead about all medications, especially if you are going to attend any formal requirements or design review meetings, so your test engineering lead can be aware of potential review meeting conflicts.

Do drink alcohol in excess with Testalis®, as this will increase your funness, increase the illegibilty of your defect reports so they are rejected and thus bring you back into defect-discovery norms. Testalis® does not protect against intimately transmitted diseases, if engaging in these types of activities during testing. The most common side effect with Testalis® is too rapid of output of defect reports. Business and R&D complaints accompanied this anomalous behavior.

As with any TD tablet, in the rare event of testing enthusiasm lasting more than 10 hours, seek out and imbibe multiples of the nearest alcohol beverages of choice in order to exude an increased level of funness, thus offsetting the ability to construct a coherent defect report.

In rare instances, test engineers taking prescription Testile Dysfunction tablets (including Testalis®) reported a sudden interest in stepping down their careers to developing software. It's not possible to determine if these events are related directly to the Testile Dysfunction tablets or to other factors. If you have a sudden interest in developing software for a living, stop taking any ED tablet, including Testalis® and call your shrink right away.

TESTALIS IS NOT FOR EVERYONE.

Defect Report - Politically Correct

I think defect report writing is significantly behind the rest of the politically correct world in terms of:

1.       The political correctness movement, and

DEFECT TITLE/DESCRIPTION:   GEM NAME:

Main Snow-ski Product Combination List is operatively challenged.

SEVERITY:   Mister Dodgers Smile Intensity Level:

3 of 5 JJJJJ

PRIORITY:   Challenge-change deadline:

During the next episode of Mister Dodgers.

DETAILS:    REFLECTIONS:

I wonder if we could sit down JJ and discuss the version 2.1.1 rendition of subject? Please let me know of a convenient time for you. I will arrange to have a Happiness Facilitator (HF)  present.

It appears that the list correctly includes JLLLLLLLLL 10% of our product line, thus reflecting a mild change L from the previous application version where the list was complete. A query of the ski product table in the database exposes a complete list. J I wonder if it would make sense for the application to completely agree L with the database and include the other 90%? Perhaps this is simply a matter that the SRS needs to change in order to reflect the as-built software?

STEPS TO REPRODUCE DEFECT: PATH OF SMILEYS – INLCUDING INVERTED SMILEYS:

With a (HF) present let us share smiles as follows:

1.       J Launch the application.

2.       JJLook to the HF to capture HF’s emissions of happiness.

3.       JJFrom the main product category list, select Winter Sports Gear.

4.       JJLook to the HF to capture HF’s emissions of happiness.

5.       J Observe the presence of the Snow-ski Product Combination List. It looks very nice.

6.       J Open the Main Snow-ski Product Combination List.

7.       L Observe the operatively challenged list of skiing products.

Performance Testing Vuser Personas – Part I

If you are offended by lack of correctness, please change channel!

After years of performance testing I have discovered that simulated users have character and history.

Stay tuned for Part II.

Redneck Dictionary (PG-17)

Aging Report 2007 and Questions

I feel that I may have reached another plateau in life in terms of age. RichW (of SQAForums), you were supposed to give me a heads up on this stuff!

I once saw a research report that said all cells (or was that molecules) are replaced in the body every seven or eight years. Why the hyell do I have the same wrinkles that I had 8 years ago? Does this mean there are exceptions? Anyway, I thought I should list my concerns and ask some questions...

• Creaking: My joints creak. My wife keeps WD-40 with her when we go out into public.
• Buicks: I now salivate when I see one.
• Younger female teammates: I now call them "Hon".
• Hair:

• Attire: Why do I browse this site?
• Athletics: Why am I hoping that RichW (of SQAForums) will invite me to join his outdoor shuffleboard team? I can hit a home-run Rich!
• Vitamin-supplements: Why does the word "Silver" attract my eye?
• General stuff: