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Introducing Testalis

08:31, 2008-Oct-10  ..  Posted in Warped Humor  ..  0 comments  ..  Link

Do you suffer from Testile Dysfunction? Are you no longer invited to Requirements or Design Review meetings because you ask important questions – questions where the responses are typically, “No customer will ever do that?” – Or – “Please confine yourself to testing and let us handle the design”? Are you depressed because every software build exposes R&D test neglect? These issues can lead to a serious condition known as Testile Dysfunction (TD), a condition in which you lose your enthusiasm for testing and all related test engineering activities. TD reduces your level of readiness when you are ultimately called upon to execute tests.

 

Could you be ready for that moment when that moment is right? When R&D hurls the next application build over the wall-of-distrust and all the developers run for shelter – could you be ready?

 

Testalis® might be right for you.

 

Testalis® can restore your enthusiasm for your role. Only you can decide if Testalis® is right for you. Before taking Testalis®, ask your test engineering lead if you should proceed with functional and regression test activity and be sure to tell your test engineering lead about any angst you may have with R&D and all soured relationships with R&D. Don't take Testalis® if you take Tiagra® as the combination can cause a sudden, rapid rise in defect-discovery output and clog your organization’s defect-handling process.

 

Testalis® for daily use remains in your body for as long as you take it. Tell your test engineering lead about all medications, especially if you are going to attend any formal requirements or design review meetings, so your test engineering lead can be aware of potential review meeting conflicts.

 

Do drink alcohol in excess with Testalis®, as this will increase your funness, increase the illegibilty of your defect reports so they are rejected and thus bring you back into defect-discovery norms. Testalis® does not protect against intimately transmitted diseases, if engaging in these types of activities during testing. The most common side effect with Testalis® is too rapid of output of defect reports. Business and R&D complaints accompanied this anomalous behavior.

 

As with any TD tablet, in the rare event of testing enthusiasm lasting more than 10 hours, seek out and imbibe multiples of the nearest alcohol beverages of choice in order to exude an increased level of funness, thus offsetting the ability to construct a coherent defect report.

 

In rare instances, test engineers taking prescription Testile Dysfunction tablets (including Testalis®) reported a sudden interest in stepping down their careers to developing software. It's not possible to determine if these events are related directly to the Testile Dysfunction tablets or to other factors. If you have a sudden interest in developing software for a living, stop taking any ED tablet, including Testalis® and call your shrink right away.

 

TESTALIS IS NOT FOR EVERYONE.



Defect Report - Politically Correct

05:51, 2008-Aug-21  ..  Posted in Warped Humor  ..  0 comments  ..  Link

I think defect report writing is significantly behind the rest of the politically correct world in terms of:

1.       The political correctness movement, and

2.       Having sufficient side-steps to the growing-in-popularity line-dance known as "side stepping the far-less-costly to-the-point and hard truth".

Please do feel free to adopt this template and style.

DEFECT TITLE/DESCRIPTION:   GEM NAME:

Main Snow-ski Product Combination List is operatively challenged.

SEVERITY:   Mister Dodgers Smile Intensity Level:

3 of 5 JJJJJ

PRIORITY:   Challenge-change deadline:

During the next episode of Mister Dodgers.

DETAILS:    REFLECTIONS:

I wonder if we could sit down JJ and discuss the version 2.1.1 rendition of subject? Please let me know of a convenient time for you. I will arrange to have a Happiness Facilitator (HF)  present.

It appears that the list correctly includes JLLLLLLLLL 10% of our product line, thus reflecting a mild change L from the previous application version where the list was complete. A query of the ski product table in the database exposes a complete list. J I wonder if it would make sense for the application to completely agree L with the database and include the other 90%? Perhaps this is simply a matter that the SRS needs to change in order to reflect the as-built software?

STEPS TO REPRODUCE DEFECT: PATH OF SMILEYS – INLCUDING INVERTED SMILEYS:

With a (HF) present let us share smiles as follows:

1.       J Launch the application.

2.       JJLook to the HF to capture HF’s emissions of happiness.

3.       JJFrom the main product category list, select Winter Sports Gear.

4.       JJLook to the HF to capture HF’s emissions of happiness.

5.       J Observe the presence of the Snow-ski Product Combination List. It looks very nice.

6.       J Open the Main Snow-ski Product Combination List.

7.       L Observe the operatively challenged list of skiing products.

8.       JJLook to the HF to capture HF’s You-Are-Special emissions of happiness.

 



Performance Testing Vuser Personas – Part I

09:25, 2008-May-30  ..  Posted in Warped Humor  ..  1 comments  ..  Link

If you are offended by lack of correctness, please change channel!

After years of performance testing I have discovered that simulated users have character and history.

Vuser Name

Character Observations

VU 5

Always leaving the performance “party” and attempting to get to pentagon.com

VU 6

Has designs on VU 9.

VU 7

Usually the first to start and finish assigned work. Always has http-200s and never a http-500.

VU 9

Has designs on VU 6.

VU 101

Is gender-confused.

VU 110

Is a twin of VU 101 and just as confused? Is considering surgery but unsure of which

VU 211

Always robbing others of performance data.

VU 302

Is always deflecting questions about his performance.

VU 401

Is an incurable burglar always attempting to break in somewhere.

VU 500

Is always asking the wrong questions.

VU 503

Busted for embezzling other Vusers, trying to improve his own performance.

VU 1740

Always whining about global warming and never contributes to a solution. Turns any conversation into global warming.

VU 11357

Is a big fan of narcotics and addicted. Has been busted several times.

Stay tuned for Part II.



Happy Holidays 2007

05:41, 2007-Nov-29  ..  Posted in General  ..  1 comments  ..  Link

I love the melodies of Christmas carols. I am an amateur MIDI enthusiast and have a goal of publishing a Christmas CD consisting of my own arrangements. I am inspired by the works of Mannheim Steamroller.

I have included two links here to free downloads of my work. Both songs are in WMA format and less than 5MB each.

The first was put together on a Commodore Amiga 2000 accelerated with a 68020 card. I used Octamed to do the sequencing, driving a Rhodes (Roland) 660 keyboard. For the second song I used and for current work use Cakewalk and or FL-Studio aboard a 64-bit WIN-XP PC. I use these to drive the following:

  1. Rhodes (Roland) 660 keyboard
  2. Yamaha S03 Synthesizer keyboard
  3. Roland SC-33 Sound Canvas, and
  4. a Hercules Game Theater external sound card.

The Hercules card has the core Yamaha sound library. The Yamaha S03 goes far beyond that in terms of sounds.



Acceptance Testing (UAT) - Some Answers to Some Questions

08:11, 2007-Nov-18  ..  Posted in General  ..  0 comments  ..  Link

This is based upon questions posed at Club drivenQA.

http://club.drivenqa.com/forum/topic/show?id=751045%3ATopic%3A11785

For the purpose of review, in my opinion the standard reasons for UAT include and are not limited to:

  1. A demonstration of the software for the end users to prove that it meets or exceeds their needs, per the last agreed to sets of requirements.
  2. Provide a level of system and software confidence such that the end-user will signoff and accept the software.

How does one start? If you have any of specifications, requirements, system and business use cases you then have some key ingredients as a starting point. Beginning early in the project and then throughout the project you should meet with your customer to develop and/or refine the UAT plan. Remember that this is a demonstration. UAT assumes that the software and systems work as intended. All known defects have been corrected and validated as having been corrected or in some cases, acceptable workarounds are agreed to by the customer and/or workarounds are specified for those issues still being investigated.

What level of details should our scripts have?

The level of detail should be agreeable to the customer, and also have a degree of acceptable reproducibility. Test plan, test scenario, test case, and Pass/Fail criteria ambiguity can make it very difficult to settle disputes especially when issues do surface. Greater relevant detail reduces the probability of dispute especially if the UAT Plan and the trail weaving back through all upstream artifacts is robust and the deliverables upstream are contractually compliant.

Who should be involved in terms of Users?

If there are users who have been directly involved in the development life cycle, from a specification familiarity perspective they may be of great assistance in driving out the UAT plan within the confines of the contractual requirements. Any end-user is certainly capable of being helpful. I have seen Acceptance Tests conducted/witnessed by:

  1. End-users,
  2. System and/or black box testers, or
  3. A mixture of the above, and
  4. Possibly more.

Where should this be carried out (On or offsite)? It depends upon the customer’s desires as well as the practicability of the location(s) for the test or tests. If one is conducting operational and acceptance testing of aircraft carrier-borne aircraft landing systems, one would conduct this aboard the aircraft carrier in an area that does not inhibit flight and does not interfere with the surrounding environment. The key thing to consider is that the location faithfully represents the overall system architecture and configuration of the production system such that execution of the UAT plan is not compromised and the operation of the system and its applications is reasonalbe guaranteed. Does that mean the system should be identical to the actual production system? No not necessarily. The bottom line is that the location should not compromise the ability to conduct UAT. Other things to consider are costs and logistics. Which location makes the most sense after giving consideration to the latter? In some cases UAT can be conducted in multiple locations. If it makes sense to do that, then one should do that.

An important concept to consider here is the idea of Qualification Phase Testing or Phased Qualification testing. UAT does not necessarily need to be a big-bang one-shot operation. UAT can actually begin upstream in the development life cycle. How can that be? If there are components that are considered complete and the end-user can certify them as acceptable, why not get sign-off earlier?

What happens if some components require simulation such as credit checks or radar feeds? Assuming the simulations or stubs exist and are planned as part of UAT, the customer would need to approve their use.

The actual facility should facilitate execution of UAT and be free of distraction or other impediment to the process. The hot office gossip items such as Sally and Art’s budding office romance should be kept away. Put them on a hormone regulation treatment pan for the duration of the UAT, and - possibly beyond?? Roberta Rumormill should be required to take vacation during this phase so she can work on her Office Tell All novel. One would also need a couple rolls of Duct Tape for loud and otherwise obnoxious Boisterous Bob. Is there construction going on a the location? If so, Johnny Jackhammer, Davy Drywaller, Paul Painter, Randy Roofer, Willy Welder, Albert Asphalt, and Vince Low-Voltage should be given a few days off. Do people bring their pets to work? This is just not a good idea during UAT. While the sight of Paulina Parrot pooping on an end-user's shoulder, or - biting the main button from a blouse to cause a Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction may be cute, these may not be part of the UAT plan. Leave the pets at home. One does not want an end-user locked in the grip of a pit bull. On the other hand if the software is on a mobile device that measures the force of a pit bull’s bite, then this would be a use case that should be executed by the customer; unless of course the Duct Tape is not having the desired effect on Boisterous Bob.

Other considerations are as follows. One does not want an end-user going into anaphylactic shock because of exposure to Project Manager Pedro's peanuts or Constance Cologne-overload. While the customer may be impressed with Earl Engineer’s big-air abilities on his skateboard, this may not be in the UAT plan. Skateboards land with tremendous force and can create a bone-crushing experience. Leave the skateboards, roller-blades and unicycles at home. Think about the hazards to safety in the UAT environment. In a automated wood furniture leg-making making shop you would not want Cassie Customer’s 4-foot pony tail to be spun in a lathe. How about what could happen in the paint cell on an automobile manufacturing line? You would not wish to transform your end-users into looking like those under this link (right-mouse opne in new window) - correct? Other hazards might include some self-made VIP walking in with fanfare muttering such nonsense as "Alright, let’s kick the tires on this thing." Call security and have this person escorted out the doors with the pit bull behind.

Ensure participants are bathed or showered and their anti-perspirant is certified up to 110 degrees Fahrenheit. Be professional but have fun!

 



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Introducing Testalis
Defect Report - Politically Correct
Performance Testing Vuser Personas – Part I
Happy Holidays 2007
Acceptance Testing (UAT) - Some Answers to Some Questions

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